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Plague Of Ghosts

Oct. 24th, 2010 12:22 am Doodspoor II: The Wrong Side of Weird...

My first LJ post in months again. I feel like I'm severely neglecting this page. Also, my first post on Doodspoor since ages. So, here we go!


Doodspoor II: The Wrong Side of WeirdCollapse )

Current Mood: sicksick

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Jul. 13th, 2010 08:51 pm A Meme...

LJ cut...Collapse )

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Kevin Gilbert - Certifiable #1 Smash

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Jun. 24th, 2010 02:41 am Microwave Fallout or Damn, it's been a while!

First up, I had nearly forgotten I had an LJ, mostly due to all the junk at work and writing the finishing touches to Doodspoor II. Which is a shame, as I've held this diary for so long that letting go is more or less a sin. Quite some history is inked down here digitally, so here's me posting about my already shabby life.

I still work in Almelo, suprisingly. Though I've been looking for a new job that pays better as a few things are rapidly developing into a place I know I don't want to end up.
My boss wasn't too thrilled recently when I ended up sick at home with the flu. Seeing as first my dad got it, then my mom and then me. But for me it didn't become a full blown flu until two weeks afterwards. I wasn't too thrilled either as I hate being stuck at home unable to work, but having a flu that doesn't come through is like having a bull during a bullfight constantly ask you 'am I giving you a run for your money?'
So, last tuesday I called in sick. Knowing thatmy boss has personell problems ( one colleague is refusing to return from sick leave, and others eventually resign due to being underpaid and treated like shit), he wasn't thrilled. In fact, he said I wasn't sick at all, telling me on the phone on friday that 'having the flu means you have the flu, but you're just at home with a few sore muscles and some headache'.

... ( cricket sound)

Obviously, I wasn't too thrilled myself. If only we could afford to buy the right of Michael Jackson's thriller and do a dance theme to this little itty bity scene. *grumble*
Anyway, after I explained I don't call in sick without proper reason, he relentled somewhat. When I returned to work on monday, he was fairly kind to me again. Gee, I wonder why... Is it because I'm selling my arse off in the store? He knows he can't fire me ( unless I start screwing up, of course) as I am too valuable for him, but at this rate, I'm not wanting to stay when I find a better paid job. A few months ago I would've been willing to negotiate a new contract when october hits, but if I find a new job before my current contract expires, I'm gone from that place for good.

Also, a last minute roster change was made today. This coming saturday is the opening party of Lore-Ley, and I was hoping to be going. Seeing as the roster said I had to work on sunday to do a count of the current stock, I was just fine with it. But my boss said he had little to no time on sunday, so he asked everybody if we could work on saturday evening, basically meaning I miss out on the festivities. I told him I had scheduled everything on the saturday in order to keep the sunday free for work, along with most of my colleagues.
But today, my boss told me that almost everybody had rescheduled. I found out they rescheduled because he basically lied to them and told them I rescheduled. Thanks man...

So, no Vertigo opening party. In fact, no Vertigo for me at all this year. October is extremely busy this year, due to Omen in the first weekend and Doodspoor II in the third weekend. And on top of that, my boss isn't hiring extra personell, though he claims he needs to hire more guys to work for us, so I had to drop some of my plans in order to make them work. He is not happy with me requesting time off in october and november, but seeing as I'm working the entire month of august and september, he shouldn't complain. Those are quite busy months as well...

I'm due to scare my boss though, by handing in the bonuses I've been saving up the past few months, so I can buy a 12 string guitar and a USB audio interface with microphone for recording. All for free, and all mine! He won't like me for what I'm going to order, but considering I've worked for it and he allows this, I'm going for it!

I'm not really having my day though. When I found out yesterday that one of my comfy shoes was smeared with dried up dog poo, I decided to place it in a small layer of water, to soak it in a tile and later tonight clean it. Well, it's clean but the soles are apparently not waterproof. The whole shoe is a soggy mass of water. I'm glad I still have two other pair of shoes, otherwise I'd be in trouble. Here's hoping it'll dry soon enough.

Other than that, when I returned home, I threw my noodles in the microwave ( seeing as my parents left for Portugal this week and will be returning in two weeks), set the timer to 30 minutes and set the power to defrost.
30 minutes later I smelled fire.



Apparently, it wasn't set to defrost, but full power.So, as I rushed downstairs, the living room was filled with smoke and the microwave was coughing, as if coming to life and warning me of the dangers of smoking. Brave as I was ( or stupid, depending from your point of view), I opened the door and noticed the plastic cup my food was in had melted completely, with the noodles now scorched black and steaming with anger. So, after getting it out of the microwave and having cold water extinguish the smouldering heap that was once supposed to be my dinner and opening all windows and doors to get the smoke to leave the livingroom ( not to mention using air freshner to remove the horrible smell of burned food from the house), I cleaned up the microwave and kitchen and set about recreating the process again. The second attempt at food creation worked, thankfully... But getting the smell out of the house will take a few days I fear.

This all leads to speculation, however.

Why does a microwave have the following settings:

- Defrost
- Warm up
- Heat up ( significant difference with warm up)
- Singe ( slightly disappointing Wrath of God (tm)
- Nuke

Also note that Defrost looks a lot like DEFCON 5. I'm surprised the fracking microwave didn't beep like Schwarzenegger on the fritz, booming in a low mechanical voice 'Duke, thy supper is ready...' Anyway, situation is resolved, for now. And at least I won't have to cook tomorrow due to me eating at work as I'll be having sales night. I'm not convinced this is a good week.

In other news, Doodspoor II is coming together nicely. We've basically finished on the main plot with just a few loose ends to tie up. Also, some NPC's roles are being written/rewritten, to be sent to their respective players very soon. Watch this space! Soon we'll have our website uploaded and you can already find us on facebook as well :)

I'm going to get some sleep and see if tomorrow will be a better day. And if Murphy shows up, I'll just have to kick his ass. Duke Nukem Style, ofcourse...


Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: Devin Townsend -supercrush!

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May. 24th, 2010 11:35 pm Doodspoor II Announcement!

After a few months of writing, having computer issues ( most of them still unresolved as of yet) and whatnot, it's finally time.

We're proud to tell you guys and gals that Doodspoor II: The Wrong Side of Weird is scheduled for 15/16/17 October 2010.

There will be a microsite with information about the event itself, where you can also register as pc or npc and what the event is going to be like. We've got a lot to cover, but it will be taken care of with the microsite and the subsequent briefing. Also, all those that participated in Doodspoor I in 2007 will receive a promo!

Game on!


Current Mood: excitedexcited

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Mar. 16th, 2010 03:19 pm ...

I had never though about having to write this, but unfortunately I do.

As much as I would’ve wanted to ignore it until it went away, I think deep down this was a pretty inevitable thing, considering how things were going.

After a long and difficult talk, Judith and I have decided to break up, as we both cannot find a means to the problems that keep plaguing our relationship. As much as we love each other, it’s not the solution to our problems.

We’d both appreciate it if you guys gave us the time and space we need to get over this, because even though we both remain close friends, this was and still is not an easy thing to do.

Current Mood: sadsad

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Mar. 10th, 2010 01:26 am Musical Update...

And now a small update on the new concept I'm writing, which recently has picked up again, despite me wondering if I'd ever write lyrics again. I've been stuck in a horrible writer's block since last year, and it seems to be coming to a careful end. Here's hoping I manage to continue.

A Moment In Time

1. I See Red ( music 80%, lyrics 0%)
2. Chinese Whispers ( previously known as Grapevine Gone Sour) ( music 100%, lyrics 100%)
3. One ( music 50%, lyrics 0%)
4. Below Radar ( Previously known as Down Periscope) ( music 100%, lyrics 100%)
5. A Realisation of Pain ( music 20%, lyrics 0%)
6. Moment in Time Together ( previously known as Together Alone) ( music 10%, lyrics 100%)
7. Stuck In A Rut ( music 70%, lyrics 50%)
8. Things That Keep Happening When You Least Expect Them ( music 100%, lyrics 20%)
9. Grasping ( music 100%, lyrics 0%)
10 Swing Low ( music 100%, lyrics 80%)
11 Black Box Of Reversed Modulation ( music 100%, lyrics 20%)
12 Pain ( music 100%, lyrics 60%)
13 Dancing With The Mirror ( music 20%, lyrics 50%)
14 The Outside World ( music 70%, lyrics 0%)
15 Bang ( music 100%, lyrics 0%)
16 A Moment In Time ( music 80%, lyrics 20%)

The new songs are taking on quite a bit of identity, even though I'm not steering them into any kind of direction. They were written quite easily and fast as well, surprising the hell out of me. Most of the working titles have already been replaced with better placeholders which might make it to the final product, but for now I'll just keep the old ones up. Will post some lyrics once I'm done with my writing for this coming weekend, which is a new session of the Red Hand of Doom campaign! Alons-Y!

Current Mood: curiouscurious

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Feb. 21st, 2010 10:55 pm A Multitude of Things or Crossing Fingers and Toes...

Currently being without my own pc, has severely cramped my style, though this is mostly my own fault. Let me elaborate.

I ordered some pc parts through the internet on the advice of a few friends, but when Sna wanted to put them together last night, the machine didn't want to turn on the screen, and later didn't want to turn on at all. So, here's hoping the damage isn't too bad :(

Until then, I'm using my dad's pc as my old one is at Sna as well, where the HD, soundcard and DVD drive are being used from, though I didn't consider replacing them as they are quite old. Silly of me, truth be told. I hate it not knowing enough of this anymore, as I used to be quite a buff on 286 pc's. I mean, I could take them apart and put them together again, software and hardware wise. And now I'm struggling to remember how to set certain programs to work on Windows XP/Vista/7. That sucks.

Lextalionis 9 has come and gone, leaving quite a big gap as at the end of a pretty good event, a large group of players were staked, among them yours truly. I was quite pissed, this being caused by the high I was on and the depths our storytellers threw us in. But do not take this as criticism; after a while of cooling down and thinking about the situation, I can only conclude this was the most natural plot device ever. And to that, I can only bow and hope that Lex 10 takes off and leaves me ( and of course, the other players too) at such a high, that no VtM larp will ever be the same again.

Unity 2 will be on coming weekend, though I won't be attending the friday, having opted to stay at home on friday due to my dad turning 65. On saturday and sunday however, I will be present as Craig Parker. I've been happy about Unity 1, though the economics system was a bit of a doozy, along with the influences system, that wasn't working for me at all due to none of my influences not being replied to. I'm hoping this time, it'll work out better, so I can at least go back to the merchant idea I came to Unity with. I hate to make this a combat-only character, as the background leans to so much more than just combat. And I'm not in the mood for writing a new concept to make it stick to Unity; I enjoy playing Parker quite a bit.

In other news: I'm setting up a few ideas for my future, as I'm fearing to be stuck in my current heavily underpaying job. And I need help and advice for that. From you guys.
I'm either thinking about going back to school ( in my opinion, I can never learn enough) or taking a course in a subject that could at least land me a more steady paycheck and a job that I consider worth my time, intellect and fun. Right now, I enjoy selling stuff, but photography is not what I'm made for. I've thought about becoming a musical instruments salesman, but it'll probably pay as badly as my current job, unless you guys can point me out to a job that does.
It also means I've considered returning to teaching, which means a few things: I won't be teaching history. The saturation in history teachers in this country means finding a job is a horrible ordeal. So, I've resorted to look at my other speciality: English.
I need to know what I need to work on if I want to become an English teacher, as right now I'm just loss in the morass of rules and gods know what else that are being used in this country. Dutch legislation is just horrible for people who want to become a teacher when their current profession would allow you to think otherwise...

And a little reminder: I'm looking for people who want to write the script for a possible video clip to one of my songs that I have on www.myspace.com/ghostmusician . Preferably I'd want you to choose a song with vocals, but in truth, any song will do. Send them to me ( either via PM in LJ, Facebook or my email) and tell me why you chose that particular song and that particular plot.

As for my music: I've begun writing a series of quite odd lyrics, exploring a series of dreams I've considered to be a parallel world to this one. Everytime when you look in the mirror, when you look back, is that the mirror or just the other you looking at you, wondering who you are? When you say 'I love you' to your lover, does your reflection walk off in resignation or chase another tail in admiration? When you die, what does your counterpart do? Does he stay behind in anguish over missing his soul mate, or does he fade away along with you?
You can see the concept is quite heavy, but I enjoy writing ideas down like this, as the lyrics tend to take a life of their own and it also gives me the freedom to write stuff which isn't necessarily about myself, though it may seem that way.

Writing has become easy again, though I need to make sure the quality is higher than my previous work and I, for a fact, believe I repeat myself quite a bit, not just as an artistic trick, but also because my head is stuck in old ideas. It's time to change that, I think!

Doodspoor II is looking quite nicely now, though finding a location is proving to be tiresome. I'm still in the process of getting my hands on the perfect location and I'm hoping to soon allow players to sign up. Here's to crossing fingers and toes...

Current Location: at dad's pc
Current Mood: okayfine
Current Music: Pain of Salvation - Remedy Lane

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Feb. 19th, 2010 11:17 am Something To Tinker With...


I'm looking for people who would like to write a script for a possible videoclip. Here's the drill: go to www.myspace.com/ghostmusician, pick a song ( one with vocals preferably, though any song will do!) and write what you would consider the best videoclip! 

You can post on the LJ, or send me a message through LJ or Facebook.

In other news: Lex 9 update later this weekend, when I've had time to write it all down.

Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Radio 538, unfortunately...

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Feb. 8th, 2010 02:06 am Storytellers: Concepts part 22

It’s been a while since I wrote down these stories, but I’ve neglected them for far too long. So, here we go!

Nocturne...Collapse )

Current Mood: blankblank

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Jan. 22nd, 2010 12:06 am A Teaser of Sorts 5...


The music's playing, the notes are right
Put your left foot first and move into the light
The edge of this hill is the edge of this world
And if you're going to cross
You better start doing it right
You better start doing it right
You better start doing it right

Let the dance begin...


Current Mood: blankblank

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Dec. 29th, 2009 07:15 pm Homage To A Friend or 2009...

Well, the ride isn't over just yet!

I wish I could say that with the enthusiasm it truly deserves, but lately I've been hit by a string of bad luck moments that are still not passed.

This past christmas was pretty good, with me and Judith spending the whole weekend together with first christmas day being mostly an effort of us staying inside and having a grand gourmet later that night with my brothers and their partners, and my grandmother present. I'm quite happy it went so well, I had a thing to fix this christmas, as last year I was ill.
On second christmas day, my pc decided to die on me, and after a friend of my brothers, David, fixed the config.system file by using the backup file, it only needed me to reinstall the drivers to the computer, as nothing was recognised: my keyboard was dead, the mouse too, no USB drive, the A-drive or my card reader were recognised, the sound was gone and the video settings were a mess.

That all was to be fixed, though yesterday, after I brought Judith to the station, it died on me again, with the  same file damaged again. I might have to format the whole HD, or in the worst case scenario buy a new system again. I'm naturally not looking forward to the last option, but who knows?

Also, my car is having starting problems, but it's not the battery or anything related to it not getting petrol at the start. It's being serviced next week tuesday, so that'll be fixed soon at least.

And now, a recap of probably one of the worst years in my life.

2009 was actually going to be a year where I was due to start something beautiful. I began work again on the 5th of january at Duoflex, I was happy about the new job and how close to where I live it was and other aspects in my life. And it was all just a temporary thing.
Somewhere in march they gave me the bad news that they had to fire me due to the company slowly going bankrupt. A week or two after that I ended up sick in the hospital with gall stones, staying at home until around june.

Surgery came and went, with the 38 stones removed from my body and me jobless now. So I embarked on a job hunting spree and by october 2009 ended up as a salesman at Fotovideo Boom in Almelo. I've written quite a few stories about Alcoholalmelo, with a few new ones inbound once my pc is back or at least when I can access my HD again. It's a decent job, but I need a better wage.

2009 was a bad larp year, mostly due to me being too sick to attend. Lextalionis saw Korbin van Zandt come in action after Mandeville had been kicked out of Dorestad by his fellow kindred. It's a change of character, but closer to what I like to play, though Mandeville occasionally comes up and serves the undead of information about the war and its perks in Baltimore. One town, YES, one town still holds on in the sea that Sna so kindly referred to as 'Sabbat'. It'll be a busy year in 2010 with Lex 9 and 10, as the big bang we've been waiting for, will finally unfold before our eyes. I can't wait. Lex 7 and 8 scored a 8.5 out of ten for me.

Vortex only saw me once, during the Summoning, where I got so severely beaten up by Monster crew ( along with lots of other players) that I was too busy filing complaints. The plot was decent, had seen better, but the players were good and the SL's did their best to make something of it. all in all, a 7 out of ten.

Symbols 9 was unfortunately spent at home ( though I showed up for one day, making pictures which will hopefully be delivered to Maglok once my pc's back!) but Symbols 10 saw the return of Killburn. Runewall now is only a memory in time and Killburn left for his beloved Neri, though that story will be posted on the Symbols forum once it's done. Symbols 10 ranks a 9 out of ten, as being one of the most emotional endings ever. My kudos to the SL's for helping us into such a beautiful setting and for letting it slide into our memories forever. Symbols is a story I will cherish forever and be proud about.

Unity 1 came in november with me trying a  bit of a multiclass idea, a salesman with some combat skills, though mostly a salesman. It was a fairly heavy first event ( next update will be about Unity 1) but it was brilliant and Unity 2 will see the return of Craig Parker. A firm 8 out of ten points.

Musically, due to writers block not a lot of lyrics though a steady stream of music that will be recorded as soon as either my pc is fixed or when I've got a new system. My myspace page ( www.myspace.com/ghostmusician ) has all the current songs that are done, and new songs are in the make so wait and see :)

2009 was a horrible year, due to the long waiting before the doctors could figure out what was wrong with me and before they could operate on me. The stress of also losing my job caused me to have a quite bleak outlook on the rest of the year, but I more than lived up to my impromptu resolution of eating as much as I could during Christmas. A year ago, I weighed in around a healthy 72 kg, eventually losing 12 kg in the process of being sick, but now I'm back to a steady 69 kg. Only 3 more kg to go, so that's a good thing for me to do in 2010 :)

I've said it a thousand times, but now I'll refrain from stating the next year will be my year. I'm in the process of finding an appartment to live, and perhaps a job to match my new town, as I won't be moving to Almelo. I just don't like that place.
2010 will be an interesting year, as I want it to prove things to me. So, I ask you now, 2010:

- Will you finally relent on the health department and give me some slack? A half a year of hospital was more than enough for me for the coming ten years. I'm up for more running, more sports, more music, more larp, more of anything that I require my body for to function. I'm depressed each day that this year sucked so bad, that I still can't do what I want to do.
- Will you grant me my moment in the spotlight? My songs, they have an audience,  but the audience doesn't know it's me writing them, singing them, playing them. I want to grow as a musician, because I know I can. Will you grant me the strength to finally step upon a stage and play, without shame, without fear? And when my fear has subsided, will you grant me an audience that listens?
- Will you finally tell Murphy to go f*ck himself?

Bring on the sunshine, the happiness, the glory of a life that beckons up ahead for all the beautiful things to come, because 2010 is full of good stuff, ladies and gentlemen. We all know this.

- Mirrors
- Shadows
- DS 2
- Enigma
- A place to call my own

There is so much to discover...

Ladies and gentlemen, have a great ending of 2009 and may 2010 be as good as you want it to be :)

Current Location: at dad's pc
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Genesis - Afterglow

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Nov. 17th, 2009 05:36 pm A Teaser of Sorts 4...


I'm digging in the dirt
to find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt


Current Mood: blankblank

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Nov. 11th, 2009 01:36 am Me & Murphy...

It's been a while, due to the new job taking a lot of time, along with me writing plot for DSII and new songs I've recently begun working on. Placing several teasers on my blog has confused people, so I'll just keep my mouth shut and surprise you whether it's my awesome new idea on how to present my latest musical outing or how DSII is coming along. Personally, there's a third surprise as well...

But at the moment I feel like I'm writing a script for a movie called 'Me & Murphy'. The past two weeks have been quite horrible, littered with moments I tend to describe as the man himself coming around to fix your washing machine, with a note saying you liked a call between 5 or 6, but showing up in the middle of the night.

If you think I've overexagerated, I assure you I am not.

Last week had an incursion of strange and odd people that have led me to believe that whoever buys Lyca mobile cards to upgrade their accounts are people who fall in three categories:

- Foreigners
- Retarded people
- Alcoholics
The foreigners buy Lyca because it's cheap. That's just fine. I mean, especially in these times we can use every penny we can save, right?
The retarded people buy Lyca because of the same reason above. Just fine as well. We've got a customer who is deaf and retarded and who always gets exactly 10 euros to buy his phone card upgrade.
The alcoholics are a different story. We have two steady customers who regularly enter the store drunk ( we tend to have a lot of drunk people in the store, so Almelo is a supiciously alcoholic city!) and who proceed to make the present salesmen nauseous like hell due to the incessant smell of heavy licquor.

The first one who enters the store is a Eastern European woman who claims to be a reporter working for a large local paper, though not able to speak a single word Dutch. She reeks of whiskey and cheap perfume, and due to the intoxication she endures on a daily basis, asks us to upgrade her phone card for her. She's the least of our worries, as she hasn't displayed any aggressive behaviour. ( Though I'm keeping my eyes on her)

The second one is a different story. Last week I was due to head to Zoetermeer to see Steve Hackett live ( which was absolutely smashing, the new album rocks!). This customer had already shown up during the day, when I was luckily having my lunchbreak and she returned later around 5, with me having to leave around 5:30 due to traffic and all. I still missed the first song of the gig due to traffic and other unforseen events.

As she walked in, you could tell something was wrong. One moment she'd be confused, the next as sharp as a knife. She tossed four receipts onto the counter which were used for prepaid phones to upgrade and slurred somethign about the receipts not being good, making me and my colleague behind the counter believe she'd already upgraded.
After my colleague threw them into the paper bin, she became aggressive, seeing as we just threw away about 80 euros worth of prepaid money. Then again, if you tell us it's no good, you can't really hold us responsible. So, we pulled it out of the bin, and asked her what the problem was. Apart from her staring deep into my eyes, she wanted another prepaid card for 40 euros. When I told her I could only give her two receipts of 20 euros, she proceeded to continue the conversation by stating me and my colleague were really ugly.


Obviously, I'm used to quite some abuse from my Mediamarket days, but she then started oogling me and that's when she started freaking me out. When I was asked by my chef to help some other customers while he sorted the lady's problem, she would'n't let me pass, even trying to grab hold of my hand. Thankfully it was just my hand and not something else, I hate to think what her reaction would have been if she'd grabbed my nuts. It wouldn't have made her popular with me, though.

My boss settled the situation later after I had left, though it was a matter of a miracle that she didn't rape him, as when he escorted her outside of the store ( whilst giving her the impression the fresh air outside would do her good), she wouldn't let go of his hand and told him quite forcefully: 'I want you to fuck me and if you don't comply, I will destroy you!' He eventually got his hand back and walked back inside, leaving her to stalk the streets of Almelo once more.

Eventually I left at 5:30, finding out my bankcard was empty, after I just filled up my tank with gas. So, I had to leave my driver's license behind, while driving back into Almelo, finding a bank where I could use my other card and head back to pay cash. I rushed home, picked up my ticket and raced to Zoetermeer, finding the whole city is trying very hard to compete with Arnhem over the 'Worst City during a reconstruction' award. I say Zoetermeer is winning. Only one road currently leads into Zoetermeer when you drive towards Den Haag and with some luck I managed to find the venue again and ran in, to find my brothers in the back. Steve Hackett had just finished 'Mechanical bridge' ( although a good song, he has way better ones, so I didn't miss much) and since we were all the way in the back, we couldn't really see the man. At least I got his signature afterwards and a short convo with the man himself. Afterwards, I drove home with my brother Rob and dropped him off at his house before heading home myself.

Then, the weekend of october 31/ november 1, was the Zoom Experience in Utrecht. Apart from selling a shiteload of gear, basically all I could do was run around like a madman and try to help people as fast as possible. The longest break I was able to take lasted ten minutes, while I had to work from 10 to 6 everyday. Not a good thing, but considering everybody had a ten minute break at most, I think it wasn't as bad as it looked. But I'm hoping I won't have to do it again very soon.

In other news, I've temporarily quit playing WoW. Due to me not being able to either raid along with the guild because my gear isn't up to par ( though wowheroes.com says I am, strangely enough) and the fact that when I want to do a heroic instance, everybody else is raiding, I can't upgrade my main character anymore. Sure, I could level an alt or something, but I enjoy playing my druid most and that's why I bought the game in the first place. So, without having to go into bickering mode ( which I tend to do too easily), I decided to step away for a while and cool down. And it works, so far. I've mostly been up playing NWN2 or busying myself for Lextalionis and Unity, so I haven't wondered yet what's going on ingame. I do intend to return eventually in a few weeks, and continue once more. I just find it frustrating that all options I've been offered just won't help. So, let's hope the dust settles in my head and I find a way to get Ked to find his upgrades gearwise.

I'm currently working around the clock trying to get my nerfguns painted and/or modded. My nitefinder has had it's dart holder removed, making the gun fit my holster and after Riftie gave me some advice on how to make it shoot farther and more accurate, I have done as well. The gun is currently drying in the garage from the paint that was needed after I had sawn off the lower front end. Apart from that, the other guns were beginning to flake, due to me not having primed the guns before I painted them. Such a shame, really, as it looks really messy. So, I've bought some plastic primer and am going to paint most of my guns. They'll be done by thursday I reckon. If not, they aren't coming along to Lex. The Unity background is still not translated to Dutch due to me just being too busy and I've found I'm having difficulty finishing up my contacts. But at least the gear will be ready and my clothes are done too. All I need is my guns painted and eventually modded.

I've finally received my D&D miniatures order that I made over a month ago, that had been sidetracked by customs for all that time. After making sure everything was categorized into the boxes where I keep them and into the file where I note which ones I own and which ones I don't ( along with type of rarity and series and such), I found I ran out of space again officially, so next week I'll need to buy another toolbox or two just to make sure I've got space for other miniatures to come, considering I'm still not done collecting.

The promise of such a script is too good to be true. One scene is done, I must admit. The climactic fightscene at the end shows me beating up the bastard with a vacuumcleaner, while I triumphantly shout the immortal words 'If you think this sucks, you're absolutely right!', whilst of course decking the SoB on the left.

I say this script should be finished, perhaps that will shut up the bastard once and for all...

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Steve Hackett - Fire on the Moon

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Nov. 11th, 2009 01:27 am A little quiz...

Given to me by Woran:

* Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."

* I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity

* Update your journal with the answers to the questions. Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions. (I'll also answer more, if asked.)

1: What is your favorite star trek series?

I think The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine were absolutely brilliant. With Voyager I was losing interest quite fast due to music and school, which is a pity as you can still see they did their best to make it a memorable series.

2: Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk and white chocolate. I can't really choose here. Dark is too rich for me, it's like trying to swallow an ostrich or something.

3: What is that annoying chore you have to do but have been putting off for ages?

Cleaning my room, though I must confess I did so just the other day, after vacuuming and cleaning it with a bucket of water and some soda. Now I need to keep this bloody chore up :(

4: If you had unlimited recources (money, time, skills, ect.) what kind of costume would you make? If I had unlimited resources I would have three costumes to make, not just one, as I just can't choose which is coolest.
1: A functional fullplate in which I can run, fall, jump and not feel like an elephant crushed my back the weekend I participated in a larp.
2: A space pilot suit not unlike Wing Commander had. I would change a few aspects like giving the suit a few extra options that weren't featured in the games, but the helmet is just fine.
3: A space marine suit. A bunch of guys already posted a video on Youtube about this, how they built two suits out of recycled garbage during a full year or so and actually make it look so frigging cool, I wanted one too. Even though I don't play Warhammer 40k.

5: There is a HUGE spider in the shower. What do you do?

I generally tend to just grab those with my fingers and flush them through the toilet. Everytime I tried to put it outside through the window, the blinds would've killed the poor sod anyway, so promoting him to a sailor and instantly granting him a sailer's death seems more reasonable than death by windowblinds.

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Genesis - Watcher of the Skies

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Nov. 2nd, 2009 12:50 am A Teaser of Sorts 3...


reading in between the lines written long ago
Of a place where no one wants to be
Sinking away slowly into the sands of time
Everything and all that is for none to see

See, a rose is a rose
But what is a Rose
When sand is thicker
When sand is quicker

Than blood


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Oct. 28th, 2009 01:38 am A Teaser of Sorts 2...


More than I wish to admit
She makes the difference


Current Mood: blankblank

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Oct. 22nd, 2009 12:09 pm A Teaser Of Sorts 1...


The working title is 'The Longest Night'.


Current Mood: blankblank

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Oct. 12th, 2009 10:26 pm A Change of Scenery...

I've found a new job, though I can't say I'm thrilled by it. I'm back at selling camera's, this time in Almelo in a specialty shop. Once I've found a different job that suits my interests, I'll leave. I'm hoping soon, I'm so not enjoying myself.

It's like my head can't convince me anymore to continue, even though I put on my best smile in the morning and fling myself into the violent traffic that litters the road towards Almelo and the other eastern cities. It's fun to help customers, but to sell camera's - again! - is not my thing anymore.

I've made it my task to find something more in my interest, also in a place where I want to live, because frankly, I feel I'm too damn old to live with my folks anymore. When you turn 28, you kind of get that feeling. It's not like me and my parents don't like each other, I love them dearly and the feeling is mutual, but I can't help think that I should be out there, bugging myself instead of my folks.

Either that, or I worry too much.

Apart from the new job, I've had a fun birthday, which was held at Arjen's place after we returned from the Efteling. The bunch sang for me at the poffertjes restaurant, prompting the restaurant manager in the Efteling to present me with two gifts - A placemat and a birthday calendar! Cool :) To all who were present, thanks for being there, I was a bit worried that it would be a quiet birthday.

Mel showed up at Symbols 10, surprising me massively and resulting in me breaking character for the duration it took as I hugged her silly. The bastards who knew ( you know who you are, you!) kept it under wraps and Mel had her grand moment when they shouted for me to come outside. It was good seeing her, as I really wanted to see her. I've missed her a lot and having her in Holland was actually the best birthday gift I could've asked for :) Thanx hun for surprising the hell out of me. And thanx to those who kept their mouths shut :D

I've finished the Symbols song, which is now also available for listen on my Myspace page. I'm now working out a new song and I've been asked to provide music for a movie project by a friend who plays WoW in my guild. We'll see what I can come up with, I've got a few ideas and I'm happy about letting out some creative steam :)

Due to the new job, I won't be able to make the moots. I am not happy about this, but I have no other choice. I am hoping I am out of there before the Zoom Experience, as I don't really feel like working in a weekend where I want to see my friends for tabletop. Now, I will be delayed, at most, by a few hours. I'll notify those who need to know this.
I will attend Lextalionis 8 and Unity though, as I've paid up and do need my winter time larps badly. If I could attend the moots, I would be happy to do so, but resigning isn't going to help me at the moment as the pay is better than what any mediamarket or similar store could ever offer me.

Apart from all this, I'm just looking for a job so if you know a job in the general area of Arnhem ( or at least a bit to the west instead of the east, as I really want to escape that place) which consists of sales, music or teaching, help me out! as much as I love helping customers, I don't want to see camera's again. It's the Mediamarket all over again.

p.s: Speaking of the Mediamarket, my old chef ( or ex, as I affectionately call him nowadays *grin*) has mailed me again, with the roster for this coming week. Surprisingly, since I haven't worked there for over a year, I wonder what got into his thick skull as he entered my email adress :D I'll take care of them having to remove me from their list this week, but I couldn't help but laugh... First the bastard fires me, then he wants me to work again!? 

In other good news: Doodspoor II is coming together nicely :) *rubs hands*

Will keep you guys updated :)

Current Mood: rushedrushed
Current Music: Subsignal - Where Angels Fear To Tread

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Sep. 29th, 2009 11:12 pm Birthday...

This coming saturday, on the 3rd of october, I'll be turning 28 years old. Since Mel is in the Netherlands and Arjen is still wanting to hold a house warming party, we've decided to team up.

If you're interested, we'll be holding this at Arjen's place. You can check on the Symbols forum ( the Efteling thread) what his adress is. If you're coming, give me a heads up and I'll know how much stuff I need to buy. It's BYOB, but soda and good things to eat will be arranged for you guys.

Hope to see you there! :D

Current Mood: okayokay

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Sep. 17th, 2009 03:10 am Something To Come...

Don't ask me how I've managed, but:

- it's 8 minutes in duration
- one part features a fairly spectacular 15/8 rhythm
- it's mostly instrumental ( I still kept a few bars of words, due two of them need rewriting)


Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Glyphs - raw demo

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Sep. 13th, 2009 03:21 pm Instant Karma...

I must say it's certainly not been my week.

- an argument with a group of friends that has no meaning, about a frigging incident that is being presented as a common problem.
- the UWV not paying me my government support, sending me letters questioning why I haven't sent in my work note, but of course not sending me the frigging work note.
- While practicing for the Bridge to Bridge 5 km run in Arnhem, getting pulled over by an officer for no apparent reason and him forcing me out of my rhythm.
- the UWV forcing me onto jobs that are way out of my working area. I know it's a crisis at the moment, but can't they at least not help me find a place to live then?
- No applications that I have sent have had a reply. No frigging courtesy to reply, I guess...
- While running the 5 km during the Bridge to Bridge event today, getting tripped by another runner who wanted to pass. Result: a hurt knee and a total time of 28:50.

I hope Karma's a character in WoW, I'll bitchslap her like Sheeva...

Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: Greyhaven - Shards of Sky

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Sep. 7th, 2009 11:28 pm The Overdue Payment...

I'm being nervous. The CWI hasn't paid me yet and I'm still trying to find a job. No luck, so far. And the CWI's inability to pay in time is severely pissing me off. I mean, how frigging difficult is it to pay at the end of the months? It's been two weeks now!

Other than that, I did get one lucky break: my ex employer sent a final payment my way ( which I have yet to receive on my bank account, but still) so I did decide to replace my current keyboard for a proper professional synthesizer. But, I can't buy the thing if I'm not getting the money I'm entitled to. It's over one thousand euros, but still nothing has been transferred to my bank account. :(

So yea... I'm nervous.

Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: Steve Hackett - Ace of Wands

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Aug. 20th, 2009 01:45 pm Work To Be Done or An Update...

Sum XIV came and went, bringing me back to larping after having been unable to do anything that involved walking far for about 6 months. Once my stitches were gone, I grabbed my gear and waited for the date to come. Due to the extravagant heat, I didn't show up at 2 as I had wanted, but at 6 as I felt violently sick. Sleeping with an open window in the attic while outside it's 30 something degrees is generally not good.

I liked how the SL's were trying their best to make it a memorable event, though again it was plot that I couldn't really get into. The usual suspects tended to be right in the middle again. This thing was however so frigging epic in size, that it pulled everyone in, especially Light, where I've been since the start of this event, after having been thrown out of Water. I wasn't really happy with the forced change, but in the end I was given more plot and noticed people needing me for things. The 'welcome back' feeling was enhanced even though I have never played in that faction before. It made it worth it.

I didn't like how some of the monsters were taking care of their business. At one point I stopped counting the bruises on my body. They were hitting too hard, doing 'mitrailleurslag', not taking their hits or suddenly developing immunities for the damages we had earlier used on them with effect, and fighting fairly unsafe with their weapons, like using a polearm at faceheight to hit people back with or to use a dagger to stab people not unlike cheap horror movies from the 70's. One even pushed me beyond the brink of being nice as he clamped his armpit around my wakisashi and tried to yank it out of my hands, while he was wearing armor. Since my blade was between his armpits, it was safe to stab and it was the only way I could save the weapon some heavy damage. The NPC in question became enraged with me that I was stabbing at him ( while he was using his axe mostly in the general direction of my face, mind you), so after I initiated a shouting contest rive with profanity and made him back off, I walked off pissed and had my weapons checked by security to see if it was still ok.

Like I said before, the SL's were trying their best to make it a memorable event and everytime anyone complained about the monsters doing something horribly wrong, you could see that the SL's did their work.

I am looking forward to the Moots, simply as I've been in so much good roleplay I now want more.

Apart from all this, I've been involved with the making of this years Light ritual, at least the music that was used for it. It took me a few hours to set up the mic and see how it worked again, but once the technical troubles were fixed, we set up recording and finished that within 5 hours. Once I was home, I had a basic idea of what I wanted to mix and took about 30 mins to finalize what I wanted to hear. Although I'm no fan of celtic music, bar a few songs, this one sounds good and perhaps sees me recording more harp. I still have a song where I wrote down a harp wouldn't be a bad idea at all...

I'm mostly spending my time writing my background for Unity, looking for work, and recording music. I've been stuck in a writers block since the beginning of January when it comes to lyrics so that annoyed me so much, I looked up some of my older material that I've been wanting to record but was unable. I've switched my main recording software from Audition to Reaper, enabling sample triggering and midi, while Audition will still be used for single file editing. Without telling too much of the current recordings I'm immersed, it's actually a shorter song than people are used and starting in a much poppier vein than anything I've done before. I think the song benefits from it, not just because the guitars are really sounding fresh but also because of the drum samples I've processed and am using at several moments during the song. I'll post a short sample when I've got a raw mix of what I'm doing. It's working title is Tidal Moment.

Other songs I'm working on at the same time:

- Roll The Bones ( Working title)
- A Divine Sign ( Working title)
- Below The Belly Of The Beast ( working title)
- Composition of a Dreamy Character ( working title)
- Clarity from a Distance ( working title)

The last of these titles is actually part of a bigger song, but it has always been a favorite of mine and I'm wanting to record it as a stand alone song. We'll see how much time goes into it, finding a job is much more important.

And in other news: I survived my brother's birthday bash ( Judith did too) and Ruud's birthday the day after. It made me and Judith extremely exhausted, given that she's not used to partying that long and given I don't have the condition I used to have around january. But it was fun. :)

I'm off now, I promised to get some smoke bombs for someone and I need to check up on my local comic store and CD store. Being unemployed doesn't mean I can't listen to good music! :)

Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: Mike Rutherford - Working In Line

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Jul. 24th, 2009 01:59 pm Busting Heads...

I've taken it upon myself to compare notebook specs, as I've been wanting to buy one for a while now. However, due to my lack of knowledge in the aforementioned field of expertise, I'm worried.

I've got my eyes set on two notebooks, one from Compaq and one from Acer.

The Compaq's stats:

Compaq Presario CQ71-120ED

17,3" widescreen TFT
Dual-Core T4200
320 GB HD
NVIDIA GeForce G103M 512 MB

The Acer's stats:

Intel Core 2 Duo T6400
NVIDIA GeForce 9600 1024 MB

Obviously , the Acer looks a lot more interesting, but then again, it's also a bit more expensive. Besides that, if I'm to believe the model number, it's an old model from 2008, which means I'm most likely not able to get a free update to Windows 7.

I'm looking for a notebook that can handle WoW, Sins of a Solar Empire, NwN1 and 2, play Diablo III when it's out and perform perfectly throughout it. Does anyone have other suggestions beyond the two I've mentioned above?

Current Mood: okayokay

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Jul. 18th, 2009 02:03 am An Experiment Of Sorts...

After a normal day, I thought this was an experiment I couldn't pass on. Not sure how it works out, or if it is actually an improvement of my writing, at least I had fun making it.


A Different Dance...Collapse )

Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Simon Collins - The Big Bang

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Jul. 13th, 2009 06:15 pm Looking For Unity...

I'm maybe jumping the gun just a little, but I've finally managed to finish the soundtrack to the character I'm due to play on Unity. The background is still in the making, but I'm sure it will be finished soon.

Looking For Unity 

1: OSI - The Escape Artist
2: Spock's Beard - Surfing Down The Avalanche
3: Stiltskin - Fly High
4: James Labrie - In Too Deep
5: IQ - Life Support
6: Arena - Vanishing Act
7: U2 - The Unforgettable Fire
8: Oceansize - Music For A Nurse
9: Marillion - Winter Trees
10: Steve Hackett - Hammer In The Sand
11: Steve Thorne - Every Second Counts
12: The Butterfly Effect - Final Conversation
13: Frost* - Welcome To Nowhere
14: Fish - Goldfish & Clowns
15: Simon Collins - Fast Forward The Future

The character is quite a different thing than I have ever played before, with a few familiarities in it to make it easier for me to get in character. I've decided upon a few things to be roleplayed in a different manner, so hopefully that will change for me and people around me. I'm due to overthink what gear and clothing I need for the guy, but I'm sure he'll be fixed pretty soon.

The music is a bit of a reflection of how I wanted the character to be and thus, the music can tell the story itself. If you google the lyrics to the songs above ( with the exception of Vanishing Act, Winter Trees, Hammer In The Sand and Every Second Counts, as they're instrumentals), you'll find that at least 60% of the lyric will fit the background. Also, I wanted to to have one song per band this time, unlike other soundtracks I've crafted for my characters. Those were more a feeling of music that I listened to at the time or things that fitted too perfectly, but with the Unity background I felt it was to be a nice challenge. And it paid off just right :)

I've made a mixdown of the files after meshing them together, along with a bit of SFX I had lying around in a forgotten directory. I'm still due to index all the tracks in Nero and then save the burning program for future copies. It allows me to craft something nicely. I like it :)

Tomorrow I'm finally losing the stitches and it couldn't be a moment too soon, as past weekend when I overstretched just a bit, it hurt like a mofo. But once that's taken care of, I'll be able to call in with the UWV and report myself not ill anymore and find a job. Sitting at home sucks. Especially when it lasts a few months.

Current Mood: okayokay

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Jul. 13th, 2009 12:42 am Things To Come...

I've been overdoing myself on the writing and arranging part, with the following in the pipeline:

- Unity Character: not only a background finished for about 60% ( rewriting things to make it more a cohesive story).
- Unity character Soundtrack: surprised myself this week by pulling a 16 track soundtrack from my hat, but I'm making a new one as one song didn't fit the background of my character and one song was just dead weight. So I've replaced one and removed one, making it a 15 track soundtrack but still clocking it rather long at an estimated 77/78 minutes. I'll post the tracklisting another time.
- Short fiction that struck me by accident as I pulled my car through the car wash the other day. I might post it here if I find it's not too silly. Something with metaphors and odd jokes...
- Nobles group character: 20% background, but mostly gear actually. I've been discussing a custom leather armor along with some other new gear that will make me look spiffy. Will keep you posted on this with pictures.
- New lyric, not sure where it's heading though. Sitting at home because I still have 15 stitches in my abdomen generally constitutes a problem, but at least not as big as it was before.

Hopefully more later.

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: A lot of stuff actually...

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Jul. 1st, 2009 03:59 am In the middle of the night...

I should be asleep probably, but I'm wide awake and my body isn't agreeing with me, though then again can you blame it after having been cut open?

I have had optical surgery instead of a traditional one, saving me a lot of pain and allowing a quicker recovery from surgery. I'm stuck to an IV which is making sure I don't get dehydrated and tomorrow I'm due to try food again. My throat feels like sanding paper due to the tube they had to put there for me to breathe with as they operated on me and my abdomen feel like a truck back up over me five times. I've been quite sick just a few hours ago, as the anaesthetics had me nauseous and I had to ask a nurse to apply a new bandage to one of the wounds on my stomach as I started to bleed again. Apart from all this though, I feel better than I have done in a while.

The stones that have been plagueing me over the past two years have finally been removed and they are surprisingly quite small. On the other hand, there are 38 stones in that little container. I'm quite surprised by their number, even though I knew I had at least 20 of those bastards inside of me.

If anybody wishes to call me at the hospital, feel free to do so, they aren't fairly strict on their phone policy when it comes to lying in a normal recovery room. Right now, I'm going to get some sleep again.

Current Location: hospital
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Something from Roxette in my head

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Jun. 29th, 2009 04:05 am Finally...

I'm landing my first break so far: The hospital called on friday to ask if it was okay if they rescheduled my surgery from july 10 to june 30. I said yes instantly and will be having surgery on tuesday.

As I'm unaware of having to show up on monday evening already, I am not sure if I'm online. My phone will be with me and on, so if you don't spot me online, you can always leave a message there.

Finally, the silver lining in the clouds arrived!


surgery will be at 12:15. I will have my phone along but it will only be on after I've decided I'm awake enough to operate heavy machinery. If I sound like a groggy fucker when you call me, blame it on the dope they're giving me to not hear me complain about physical pains, though I reckon I'll be glad enough to have a malfunctioning organ removed from my body. I'm unsure to how long I'm staying at the hospital, just expect heavy surgery.

See you guys soon!

Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: The Butterfly Effect - Final Conversation

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Jun. 17th, 2009 06:58 pm tryptych of the Damned part three...


The Storm before the Calm...Collapse )

Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Ayreon - The Sixth Extinction

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Jun. 16th, 2009 06:00 pm Something Good For A Change...

The MRI scan showed nothing out of the ordinary, the gall stones are all present in the gall blatter ( where they should remain according to my doctor) and the blood seems to be okay by now. I've met with other doctors too today, who've explained how my surgery will proceed.

The gall blatter is scheduled for imminent demolition on the 10th of July this year.

I might be able to fill an early slot if someone cancels surgery for whatever reason, but for now I'm waiting for the 10th to come as soon as possible. I've waited long enough in all this pain to finally see it come to an end. I'll finally be able to move on from this.

In other news: I'm the man of a thousand faces... It will be explained in due time.

Current Mood: goodpositive
Current Music: Sieges Even - Tidal

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Jun. 9th, 2009 02:48 pm Tryptych of the Damned, part two...

Racing Sideways...Collapse )

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Genesis - Just A Job To Do

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Jun. 8th, 2009 03:13 pm Breaking The Silence...

A pretty epic title. After eight weeks of not bothering to write up on my LJ due to various reasons, I decided to comment again.

I'm still sick at home. My gall blatter is still inflammated and a second problem has risen up to present its ugly face. I might not be able to have optical surgery, due to gall stones being lodged too deep in my blatter and various appendixes of the aforementioned bastard. Since they have to clamp off certain areas, having a stone lodged there could present even more problems than just me having an inflammated gall blatter.

So, today I had an MRI scan. I've had them all now. CT, echo and now MRI. I've been told how much the research costs and I'm glad I'm insured. Nuff said.

Now is the time for waiting, to see if I indeed have stones lodged elsewhere. If I do, I'm probably having traditional surgery, which means an incision of 10 to 15 cm across my abdomen. But, truth be told, I can't wait for surgery.

My job is done. I am officially going to unemployed by the end of the month as I cannot recover in time to even work. Or find a new job, which is going to prove interesting as Dutch legistation states that, should you become unemployed and apply for government support, you need to apply to almost anything. Problem is, I can't even walk outside too long as I'm just too drained. I'm fitter than I've been when I was in the hospital, but I'm still nowhere near what I used to be before this homed in.

I've actually done the math and looked back to when this whole thing started and, surprisingly, I've been walking around with this bugger infected for over two years now. We first thought that it was either stress or food poisoning, but we were way off. So, here's me hoping this thing comes to an end as soon as possible. I am getting tired and agitated.

I've written quite a few things lately, but no lyrics. That ran dry months ago. I am getting up to writing again so watch this space.

- Gathering of Souls: A new D&D campaign for a group of friends of mine starting at lvl 2. I wrote a whole bunch of new things based on an old game world of mine and added stuff where I thought it was needed. The adventure is ready and I hope my players will enjoy themselves.
- Unity character: surprisingly, I love sci-fi and steam punk but I try to keep it to a certain level, as there is just too much to do really. So, I came up with a concept and I'm going to attend in november with Onno and Carlo as merchants. Another departure for me, but that's the way I like it.
- about 10 instrumental songs, still untitled as of yet. The working titles are quite silly as well, so I'm not bothering mentioning those in my blog.

So yea, if you're wondering how I'm doing, I'm not always on MSN so call me. I tend to pick up my phone a lot more now than sit behind my computer, surprisingly.

Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Shadow Gallery - The Andromeda Strain

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Apr. 13th, 2009 09:27 am The Long And Winding Road or Woe Is Me...

Well, pretty much a lot is going to happen as of now.

Within 6 weeks, around the end of May, I'll be losing my gall blatter. Due to the current infection I'm sporting ( which is an automatic bodily response to having gall stones, as they close off the organ when they shouldn't) the doctor won't operate on me. If he would have to put me through surgery now, my scar would be about 10 times bigger ( as he has to make an incision across my whole stomach) due to moister around my gall blatter. So, we're going to wait 6 weeks for the infection to pass, which will see a much easier and lighter surgery ahead ( four small scars and less recovery time are always preferred when confronted with an infection.)

It does have certain repercussions.

I'll be living with a diet for a while, until my body has recovered ( for a certain amount of course). My liver will have to take over the function that my gall blatter had and that takes time. Lots of time. Since it's different for everyone who has a similar disfunctioning gall blatter ( my mom keeps telling me my grandfather couldn't eat anything spicy, whereas my grandmother is able to eat everything bar two things), we'll just have to see how I'll fare.

The worst news is I'm in no shape whatsoever to be able to play Symbols 9 or Moots I of this year. Even though I know I have plenty of other things to do apart from larping, the season was just getting started and I'm due to miss out on my favorite larp, which will only be sporting two more events before the curtain falls.You can imagine I wasn't happy when this realisation sank in, but truth be told, I can't be Killburn without wearing my armor, weaponry and generally shout at people. It's the character. So, in my best interest, I'm not going to attend Symbols 9. That said, I will attend Symbols 10, no matter what. By then I'll have recuperated and I'm tenacious enough to fight my way back.

I'm doing quite well again, as I've passed a stone just two days ago. The pain has subsided to its previous levels that got me staying at home ( and I'm not using painkillers now, so that's good) and I'm able to eat again. The sheer exhileration of being able to actually taste food again after two days is overwhelming, I can tell you.

As you may have guessed, I'm still using the portable pc in my room at the hospital. I'm unsure when I'll be going home, possibly tuesday though I'm hoping today they'll say it's fine for me to go home again. I'm spending most of my time either reading ( finished Haunting The Dead from the oWoD Orpheus series and an online storythread by an epic lvl 29 D&D campaign) or thinking. Mostly thinking.

I know exactly what I want to be doing when I get home, apart from gaining weight and strength. I have ideas that need to be put to paper, music that needs to be recorded. Losing over 20 pounds is not only frustrating, but it saps the hell out of you. I thought I could take quite a beating, but I was wrong. There's only so much I can take physically. And mentally, I've been drained as well. Being unable to do what I want ( work, be with Judith, be near my family, meet friends) I'm stuck in that moment again. When I just arrived at the hospital ( still unsure what was plagueing me and in pain) I called a friend to tell him I and Judith wouldn't attend a scheduled day off at their place. That just broke my heart, really, as Judith was looking forward to it, as well as our friends. I know that personal life and health come first, but actually thinking about myself has a bitter aftertaste I can't get rid of. I just can't be egotistical and protective of myself when I need to be. I've never had to be that way before. You can imagine I need to work on myself on that account, as well.

I'm going to take a shower in a few and grab pen and paper and sit somewhere, enjoying the foggy landscape ( depressing or not, it just looks awesome) writing stuff that's stuck in my head and needs to get out. As I said before, I got ideas in my head. Stuff which I want people to read and listen to. You read it correct: stuff which people can read and listen to. It's multiple projects that have been laying around that need finishing and it'll do nicely while recovering at home.

To everybody who left a message on LJ, called or texted me on my phone, or visited me at the hospital: thank you all so much for your love and friendship. You've made a grown man cry and feel loved. :)

Current Location: deventer hospital
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Darwin's Radio - Stronger

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Apr. 10th, 2009 02:25 pm Heel is for dogs, heal is a lvl 5 spell...

I'm writing this from the pc terminal in the hospital, where I've been staying since yesterday.

I had another of my famous pain attacks, rendering me insane with it and having my father drive me to the emergency room. I was admitted and checked again. Blood and urine samples have been taken and eventually the doctor who checked me last week told me he ordered a CAT scan.

Eventhough he first told me today that nothing out of the ordinary could be seen on the CAT scan, later he recanted and said I wasn't to leave yet as they could've found signs of inflammation. I was brought downstairs for an echo of my abdomen, where they finally uncovered the problem.

I have gall stones and a slight inflammation of my gall blatter. There are a few options, such as cleaning the gal blatter or even removing it, but either which way, at least we know now what has been troubling me over the past few months.

The surgeon will be here later today to check up on me and see what the best course of action will be. I'll keep you guys posted on this.

Current Location: Deventer Hospital
Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: just people talking in the corridors

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Apr. 2nd, 2009 08:35 pm It's Not Stealing Unless It's Worth Five Grand...

Took this from Glimworm.

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you ANY five questions.
3. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1 - At some point in your life, you started making music which eventually led you to calling yourself a musician. What was that first experience you had that pushed you in that direction?

I grew up being quite a-musical, really. Not that my parents didn’t want me to learn how to play music, we didn’t have the money to put me in musical school and I quite favored sports, being an active and avid track runner on short distances. I was so fanatical, that I was being noticed by scouts.

At the age of 10 we had new neighbours, a soldier and his housewife. Ronald was a drummer in his spare time and for some kind of reason, it got to me. I asked him where he learned how to play drums and he took me to his tutor, which was a reform student living in an abandoned farm on the outskirts of Deventer,

Around being 12, after a track contest went bad for me ( I got tackled on asphalt by a jealous fellow runner) I basically stopped being such a sportsman and devoted my time more to arts instead of sports. In high school, the school band was how I spent my Wednesday nights and got me the profile of musician.

2 - You have and or had quite a reputation as a womanizer. What is it you seek in the 'one'?

I honestly have no idea. Surprise here, but I detest ‘womanizing’. It makes it sound like you’re buying cattle or something, which is not how I look at women. That said, I also detest my reputation. I would’ve given a kidney to have met my ‘true love’ at a young age and gotten married at one point. Unfortunately, I’ve found I’m no easy guy.

I’m a physical lover, I need hugs, I need my neck scratched and all that sort of attention. I also like to be alone at times, either writing songs or similar things, or just relax and not be surrounded by people. Someone who can be around me but not constantly near me and yet still care for me is what I’ve been looking for. It’s nigh impossible, to tell you the truth, but I’ll live with that. If life were perfect, what a boring mess it would be.

3 - You're in the whole job market thing like i am, trying to figure out what you want and what reality can actually give you. What would you consider your dream job, barring music-related jobs?

I’d be a teacher. I just love it when you can make something as dusty as history livid and original. Seeing kids with big eyes, listening to your stories with interest and excitement, that’s what I love about the whole thing. I love telling stories and this way I not only get to earn some money with it, but at the same time I get to teach kids valuable information.

If teaching doesn’t fly, I’d be salesman. As I said, I love telling stories and I have a way with words. I’ve sold products worth thousands of euros that I have no technological knowledge of. To me, selling products is a service where you have to help the customer reach a compromise between what they want and what you can deliver. If you manage to do that and please the customer and make them come back to the store, you know you’re in the right place.

4 - How did you start larping? Whom is to blame for getting us characters like .. well, all of them ;)

I got into D&D via IRC, actually. Bad, bad choice, but I didn’t know anybody in my direct area who played it and I wanted to learn how to play it badly. So, I hooked up with a few teams on IRC who were patient and showed me the ropes, using dice roller progs, cheesy midi files for soundtracks and occasionally using headsets and premature versions of Teamspeak.

While searching for RPG’s online ( after a while, D&D got bland on the IRC servers and all the cool teams either got married with children or died, unfortunately) I came across larping. Found the VA site pretty quickly afterwards. I waited about 1.5 years though, not having enough money for gear and not knowing how to get in touch with these guys. I eventually mustered up enough finances and courage to contact House Kalan’Afein on VA and asked them if they took new players in, which got me into meeting some very interesting and cool people ( a few I still count among my best friends today) and even had me get back in touch again with an old friend from a writing forum.

The rest, as they say, is history.

5 - What is it you like most about larping? What specific facet of the hobby alludes most to you?

I love the fact that nothing is fixed. There is no script. In acting, whenever I had to perform in a play, you get only a certain amount of space to put your ideas in before the director tells you how he or she wants it. And I like my directors to accept ideas from me. If they don’t at all, there is no challenge for me. It’s not hard playing EXACTLY what they want to see in your character. It’s hard however making your own character, changing into them and trying to interact with other people.

As much as I would love to get back to a stage and play something fixed again, larp has a spark that makes me smile gleefully and allow my brain to conjure up the next possible phase of the conversation, combat, peace treaty or whatever it is I’m being involved in. When it all evolves around the decisions one can or has to make, it suddenly becomes more alive then ever.

Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Rogert Waters - What God Wants Part One

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Apr. 2nd, 2009 07:55 pm Stuck In A Moment or Looking For Answers...

It's been quite a ride again. A recap.

Last week wednesday, I had my gastroscopy. For those of you who don't know what that is, they shove a thin tube down your throat and check your stomach and part of your intestines. Apparently, however, I didn't appreciate the feeling of having a tube shoved down my throat so the doctor couldn't reach my stomach and opted to redo the whole thing the next day, only with me sleeping. So, on the thursday, I was brought under a gentle anaesthetic and the doctor did her work.

Nothing wrong could be seen inside my stomach. She took samples from my intestines, along with blood samples and allowed me to have a x-ray made of my abdomen. I was then told my next appointment would be today, at 1 a'clock. Due to the anaesthetic, I was pretty much slurring through the day, sounding like one would do after having a few drinks but not having the stomach for it. Surprisingly, I managed to heal a party for Utgarde Keep in WoW later that night, even though my brain kept trying to figure out what it was exactly that I was trying to do at that particular point.

Last tuesday night, however, I had the sickness rush back into me, forcing me to continuously vomit and be in pain, starting at 1 a.m. At 7 a.m., I asked my dad to call the hospital. I had had no sleep and my painkillers didn't work anymore. So, after my dad brought me to the emergencyroom, I was admitted for a day of observation and put through more tests. We've learned a few things from this:

- whatever is causing my problems, it's not an inflammation of any kind.
- it isn't kidney stones.
- It's not my liver, my gall blatter or my spleen. ( even though that's where the pain originates and stays at 24/7)
- There are no anomalies to be seen on x-rays of my abdomen and chest.
- My urine is ok. ( i.e: I'm not dehydrating)
- it's not being caused by allergies or specific types of food.

The doctors however can't explain why it is that I've lost 10 kg in the past 3 weeks. Possibillities are stress or bacteria that cannot be traced via the blood, or that something may have been overseen in previous tests. I've had multiple people tell me I need an MRI scan.

It's been quite a week. I've had so many blood samples taken from me that mosquitos are now jealous of how the hospital manages to obtain their vitae and are now trying to infiltrate the facility.
On the thursday last week, due to not having had food in two days ( because you need to be sober before a gastroscopy) after giving blood, I witnessed stars and a slight feeling of dizzyness. I've taken up astronomy to better understand what transpires at such moments, though I've yet to learn how to put it to good use.
And I've got so many x-rays by now, I'm a supermodel in my own right.

That hasn't stopped the attacks from happening again. As I'm writing this, my stomach feels like I swallowed a brick and am trying to digest it. I'm due to go for dinner, but I'm lucky it doesn't start all over again tonight. Let's hope I can move on again.

The ARBO called wednesday morning and, according to my mom who answered the phone, were shocked to find me being at the hospital. They rang my employer and told them the news. My uncle Peter, who works there too, panicked and rang his wife who rang her eldest sister, that being my mom. Thus, we've proven that beating the drum around the general area of Apeldoorn and Deventer works.
Anyway, the ARBO will be checking with me again next week, so I hope I'll be at home. I didn't like the hospital one bit. I had zero sleep ( something to do with an old lady who couldn't find her own room and kept opening all the doors on the ward until she found her own room. Took her five attempts though, as she kept opening the door and stared inside, allowing everyone in the room to wake up due to the light before removing herself and then walking back to repeat the scene again) and I just don't like being in hospitals. I've lost family members here and it's no comforting place.

So, it is as Bono said. I'm stuck in a moment that I can't get out of.

Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Roger Waters - The Ballad Of Bill Hubbard

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Mar. 23rd, 2009 01:25 pm Ending Themes or Have You Got The Stomach?..

Some of you already know, but I've been really ill lately for about three months now. The worst is we don't know what is causing it. I've been on medication for ulcers for the past two months and it's not helping one bit. I keep being sick, not being able to hold my food and losing weight massively because I can't eat as I used to. As of now, I'm weighing in around 60 kilo's, whereas when this all began, I weighed in around 68/69 kilo's. I live on a diet of soup, cola ( which strangely enough, if not drank cold calms my stomach a bit) and sandwiches with chicken. When I'm at work, I tend to eat about 8 to 9 sandwiches a day, but right now that's reduced to a staggering 2 to 3 sandwiches.

As I said, we don't know what's wrong with my stomach. It might be an infection to the exterior on my stomach, or to the interior of my stomach which requires a bloodtest. It might be my gall blatter is shot. It might be even worse, but as that hasn't been pointed out yet there's not point in scaring myself. At least we know it's not a bowel infection or inflammation, as the pain does not originate from that area.

I'm currently fighting to have my contract renewed in June, but this was basically the headshot to my career at Duoflex. They haven't fired me, I'm sick at home and they are willing to wait but there's not telling how long this is going to take. And that's where the stress comes in: Of me finding yet another job while fighting to keep this one as I'm sick.

You will notice I swear a lot lately, but I'm in pain. My meds don't work properly, they only allow me to digest food I assume, and even then I can't eat everything. You will notice I'm grumpy, that I'm not always available on MSN or my phone. Because I find I'm tied by my hands and feet. All I can do at the moment is write music, but that doesn't pay the bills. It's good music though, as a positive sidenote, but it's only a light in the distance.

This coming wednesday, I'm off to the hospital and hopefully the doctor will find what's causing my trouble, because I'm sick of not knowing what is preventing me from having a normal life. I've decided to not attend this year's IJssel run, not being able to run 10 kilometers while my stomach is having a life of its own. There's no telling what else I will have to cancel. If it's larp, I'll be extremely pissed.

Alongside my misery, is one that is even far greater and is my biggest fear. Today, when I called in sick formally, I noticed that my colleague switched off his phone. It's not fun having a spider sense tingling in the back of your mind, automatically telling me somewhat was wrong. And I was right unfortunately. A few hours later, my uncle called me to inform me that Mark lost his wife this past friday. And although I never met her, I wish that Mark did not have to go through that ordeal. I've lost family members and friends in similar fashion, when they simply would be janked out of their existence. It does not go well with me. My day is shot, feeling sad for a colleague who is at home with his daughter now arranging his newfound life that forced itself upon him. Whatever I'm sick of, it is nothing compared to what Mark has to go through...

Today isn't such a good day, after all...

Current Mood: sadhorrible
Current Music: Blackfield - Pain

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Mar. 11th, 2009 11:28 am Delay of Execution...

Semi good news:

Due to the original deal that my employer wanted to arrange with me falling through, I'm back at work, though only for the duration of my contract, which is another 4 months. Better than nothing I reckon.

So, while working I'm looking for a new job. If you guys know any place I could either be:

- salesman
- teacher

please help me as I fear the stress of finding a new job in combination with the current one is going to be strainful on me.

Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: Radio 3FM

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Mar. 6th, 2009 08:27 pm Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back To The Water...

Murphy got his way today...

I've been relieved of my duty at work due to the economic crisis, now sitting at home wondering where next.

Thanks Murph. You REALLY didn't have to do that...

Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Marillion - The Last Straw

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Mar. 5th, 2009 11:53 pm MeMe from Moriestiel...

-Describe me in one word... just one single word. Positive or negative.

-Leave your word in a comment before looking at what words others have used.

-Then copy and paste the meme to your journal to find out how people will describe you when limited to one word.


The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

- What I create will be just for you.
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- You will receive your item before the end of the year (or sooner).
- You will have no clue what the item is going to be. It could be a story or poetry. It could be jewellery. I may draw, paint, collage or photoshop something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to repost this meme and make and send out five surprises of your own.

Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Riverside - Rapid Eye Movement

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Mar. 5th, 2009 11:30 pm Somewhere Along The Way or I May Have Neglected Something...

Well, this here is an attempt to catch up on 8 weeks of not writing anything for my LJ. God, help me now! I thought life could be busy but apparently I was wrong like hell!

Since the 5th of January I’ve been working for Duoflex, and it’s been a steady paycheck so far, me calling new customers and making appointments for our salesmen to visit them. Simple but tiresome, as lately, due to the economic situation outside I haven’t been able to get any appointments again. I’ve only made 5 appointments so far in 3 months time. I hope it’ll work out for my contract, but I fear it’s going to be a 6 month period and then it’ll be over. Let’s hope it will turn out right.

Lextalionis VII came and went, and I had to write my new character, Korbin van Zandt, out into a cohesive background that was understandable for me and the storytellers. Unfortunately, I had little to no inspiration when I started ( just around the time I started at Duoflex) but eventually I kicked myself into writing mode and finished the background. The result was a gangrel, something I hadn’t really expected I could pull off but Lex VII was pretty good ( a sauna and swimming pool tend to help a lot! ;) ) and I managed to get some stress out of my head for arranging all the stuff Korbin needed. We’ll see what the next Lex brings, so far he’s not been an outspoken character but I like it that he’s more in the background. He’ll come out whenever he’s needed.

I’ve made a few character soundtracks like the one I made for Killburn and Korbin’s soundtrack is finished. I will post the tracklisting when I find it back, as I seem to have lost it :S.  

On the D&D front there’s quite some news, though not all good.
In EJ’s campaign we stopped playing as EJ wanted to play again instead of DM, so now we’re going to host tryout sessions for Wouter, Marco and then me as DM so the group can decide whoever is best for the group. We’ve however not been able to arrange a date to play so far, so I fear it’ll be in april before we manage to secure a date.
In Rick’s Insomnia campaign we’ve been working out a few plotlines, though I’ve been out too long again to remember everything. We’re level 7 now and this coming Sunday we’ll be in Utrecht to have another session, so I’ll write a recap after that.
The weekend after is a Red Hand session again, so I’m going to work out a few ideas I’ve been wanting to try and we’ll see what the players are going to do in response. Should be fun :-)

Apart from all this, I’ve been having serious health problems with my stomach and intestines. The doctor believes it’s an inflammation of the inside of my stomach where it borders the oesophagus, but I’m already convinced it’s more than that, as even with the medication ( which is also used against gastric ulcers) I’m just constantly in the bathroom at home or at work either singing psychedelic praises to the depths of a china bowl or in heavy pains as my intestinal track feels like a busy highway somewhere downtown New York. So, I’m going to call the doctor for an appointment again tomorrow and see if they can find anything wrong with my stomach in the hospital. Not happy about the decision, but you can’t win them all, can you?

Doodspoor has recently seen a bit of work done again, as we’ve been scouting for locations for our second event which will most likely be held next year. We’re going to try a few things out and it should be a really cool experience to test out our theories and ideas. We just hope the locations will be affordable and that we can pull it off, as unfortunately one location was actually dead smack downtown muggle centre. Talk about a bit of a letdown. But let’s see what comes of it, so far I’ve got good hopes. The plot is original and good, the locations are really good, now it just comes to finances and if the local authorities aren’t going to ban certain activities, as we are going to go a bit heavier than expected at times.

There isn’t a lot to tell about the music front, except that I’ve been working out some lyrics, though not a lot. Mostly been working out music and bits and pieces of the new concept I’m writing. Here’s an update on that.

A Moment In Time

1. I See Red ( music 80%, lyrics 0%)
2. Grapevine Gone Sour ( music 40%, lyrics 0%)
3. One ( music 50%, lyrics 0%)
4. Down Periscope ( music 20%, lyrics 20%)
5. A Realisation of Pain ( music 20%, lyrics 0%)
6. Together Alone ( music 10%, lyrics 100%)
7. Stuck In A Rut ( music 70%, lyrics 20%)
8. Things That Keep Happening When You Least Expect Them ( music 100%, lyrics 0%)
9. Grasping ( music 100%, lyrics 0%)
10 Swing Low ( music 100%, lyrics 50%)
11 Black Box Of Reversed Modulation ( music 100%, lyrics 20%)
12 Pain ( music 20%, lyrics 60%)
13 Dancing With The Mirror ( music 20%, lyrics 50%)
14 The Outside World ( music 70%, lyrics 0%)
15 Bang ( music 100%, lyrics 0%)
16 A Moment In Time ( music 80%, lyrics 20%)

This coming Saturday, I’ll be selling both my electric guitars and getting a new one for it, finally saying goodbye to Blue and saying hello to my new guitar, which will be named once it’s in my possession. If they’re paying so handsomely for both the old guitars that I can basically trade them for the new one, I’ll look into buying a multi effect as well, though I’m assuming I should wait a month until I have my new salary in.

So there you have it: 8 weeks of me working, a good larp, writing music and writing plot and generally trying to make the best of things. At least I get to see Judith this weekend; I’ve missed her. The one positive thing since a while.

Ghost signing out for now. 

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Riverside - Rapid Eye Movement

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Jan. 2nd, 2009 07:17 pm High Hopes or 2008: reviewing the past year...

I've managed to survive quite a year. I thought 2007 was heavy on me, but I think 2008 topped it. So, without further ado, let's see what happened.

Personal life:
 Last year saw me and Judith get together and, although the distance isn't short and I'm not the easiest man to live with, we've been together since march 2008. So far, we've been happy together and it is good to look at 2009 and be together with her. I normally have quite a lot of words ready for love, but I think this will suffice. It is good. :)

Work: The Mediamarket didn't turn out to be what it portrayed to be. A goose that lay golden eggs? More like a full fledged S&M mistress bent on making life hell. After a full year they pulled the plug on me, eventhough my sales figures were better than they'd ever dared to have. They still are suffering sales eversince I left but since my previous chef is too stubborn to admit he was wrong, I can only say I'm glad to be gone there.
As of monday the 5th of january, I will be the new salesman for Duoflex, a company that specialises in putting constructionworkers at work throughout Holland and Germany. My task is to tend to the needs of our old customers and get new customers as well. I'll be working from a desk and that is a whole improvement from the standing I had to do all frigging day at the Mediamarket. Since my uncle works there too ( and was kind enough to introduce me to the company and thus getting me the job) I'll be having a familiar face that knows how I work and trust me. It's going to be heavy as I have plenty of homework ahead but I'm looking forward to it :)

Larp: Vortex was slowly descending into old behaviour again, even though I had fun this year. The Moots I was pretty good at the new terrain with the surprise of NO END BATTLE! I was, even though I was a bit disappointed, quite happily surprised and liked that ending. The Sum was a bit of a doozy at times, but good enough to still be entertaining for me. Due to illness, I skipped the Moots II and stayed home. Having the flue combined with an unhealthy dose of depression due to being fired was enough to keep me safely at home.

Lextalionis finally saw the end of Kaleb Mandeville, though not in his destruction but in his ousting from Dorestad. I've written my post about it and that's that. I move on with a new idea that I will present to the unsuspecting players on the coming swimsuit edition. Whereas somewhere it will be something players are accustomed of me, it will host its surprises too. The events this year were good as ever and make me thirst for more plot. Having Mandeville getting information still is quite interesting, if not a challenge for me to keep separate from my new guy.

Symbols as always is brilliant fun, given that Killburn became my favorite character. Knowing the series will end this year, I'm poised to see what will become of our little town and the Black Hammers. We're ready to kick ass and run out of bubble gum and generally have a blast again.

Doodspoor: Nothing yet, but I can tell you guys that the plot for DS II is going to be really, really good and scary, albeit in a different manner. Watch this space!

Music: Writersblock set in early this year. Lyrically it was a dry year with me steadily writing out the latest concept which will be titled 'Available Light'. Music however sprang quite often from my head and I have more instrumentals than ever at this point. I'll fix them lyrics when number 24 is done and I can finally move on with number 25, which is untitled as yet. The writersblock has lifted so far, as I have two lyrics in the bag again that were finished before 2009 came into existence.
The Radio 3FM 'collect money for refugees to get your song on the radio' thingy I set up a while back unfortunately didn't work out as I had hoped but it gave me quite a few ideas how to promote my music. To all who donated money and supported me and my track, thank you dearly :) I will send a personal email as well, so no worries.
In particular I would like to take the opportunity to thank my dear friend Seth, who took not only a large amount of his personal savings but also a lot of his personal time and began promoting my music and cause to the outside world. I bow to you, my friend. Here's to many years of me enjoying your endless energy and occasional sprouts of madness :)
I'm in the process of setting up lists of what kind of gear I need for my personal studio and how to acquire said gear before setting it up in my room ( or appartment, once I find one that's affordable and still within reasonable distance of my new job) and starting on recording my first CD. I am not setting a release date, but be assured I want my music out. I'm getting anxious to do it. My vocals are becoming a lot better than before and my songs are quite energetic, if not more emotional than before. I like it.

To do for 2009:

- Record CD.
- find place to live.
- pay off debts. ( study debt is still around :( )
- write new Lex character. ( surprisingly a fairly important thing for me)
- Doodspoor II
- writing the setting and rulesset for Doodspoor XXL.
- Last but never least: Be happy with my Judith.

2008, you were quite the bitch at times, lapping at my heels before biting at them. You brought me happiness and joy and also tears and sadness. This is the day I lift you the bird and smile at 2009. It will be a tough year but I know that whatever is in store, is many more times better than what you brought me. The door is wide open and I will walk the line.

Here I am...

Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Current Music: Genesis - Tonight Tonight Tonight

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Dec. 19th, 2008 09:01 pm Serious Requests!

Hey Guys and Gals!

After a long radio silence, I might just get on radio! That's right and with your help I might get there. Radio 3FM, a populair radio station in the Netherlands, are currently hosting a program that lasts all week, as they collect money for the Red Cross. They've hoisted themselves into a glass house and will not eat for a week and only broadcast music for the purpose of collecting money.

I can get October Falling played on air, but I need your help! ( if you want to listen to the track, go to www.myspace.com/ghostmusician)


Click here and donate whatever you feel is right. The money is going straight to the Red Cross and if I get there, we might be able to get my music on national radio! Who knows what happens after that! :D

I've set it for 500 euros, but if I'm proved wrong, we might even get more money in and that would be great :) Help me out guys. Together, we can make a change!

Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic

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Dec. 11th, 2008 09:01 pm Marooned or New Chances...


Quite the update...Collapse )

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Genesis - The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway

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Nov. 18th, 2008 05:17 am Baltimore This Time Of Winter or A Sort Of Homecoming...


Baltimore This Time Of Winter or A Sort Of Homecoming...Collapse )

Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: U2 - A Sort Of Homecoming

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Nov. 11th, 2008 07:08 pm Tagged...


Click Here for more insight...Collapse )

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Phil Collins - Colours

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Nov. 6th, 2008 08:23 pm A God Named Rusty...

I realise that everytime I'm depressed something bad happens. Today the opposite became reality so without further ado, I wish to tell you about it.

A God Named Rusty...

I’ve irked quite a few people in my life so far. Some I’m proud of to have irked beyond measurement, some I’m wondering just what I did because I can’t recall ever being unfriendly.

A few years ago, when I was still working at the call centre, I had a colleague called Eve ( obviously not her real name but that’s beside the point). I had been reeling over the loss of my relationship with Christine and after a while of being single and playing oddball again to make myself unattractive and try to be alone, she managed to get me crawling out of my shell, which was quite a feat considering I dig deep and stay there for as long as I can.

In short: I fell in love with her.

I also love dogs. The significance of this will hopefully be explained later.

We had a Christmas drink after work at one point ( it was 2005) and I remember seeing all my colleagues get horrendously drunk, one by one. Eve was being harassed by two guys, first one of the phone workers who couldn’t talk normally anymore nor walk straight, the other being the tech guy who was slurring about taking her to a rave concert where he could have his way with her in various positions as the lights swayed and his codpiece was shiny.

Obviously I could be making this up, but the sad story is it’s all true.

I came to her rescue, ripped open my shirt to reveal a luminous bat logo on my chest and smote the bugger with my mighty blade.

Seriously though, I joined the conversation as slurry as I could towards him ( giving her the hint I was trying to help her) and said I would very much love to come along. Given his immense heterosexuality, he backed off and she was safe for the night. So, we had a few more drinks and I then rode along on my bike with her to her place, where we said goodnight. She then suggested we should go out some time soon. We decided two days later.

So after work, I picked her up with the car, drove her to town and we went to a lounge bar. It hit off right there, the conversation was brilliant, funny and anything else I could imagine at that time. She became tired so I dropped her off again at her place, where we kissed for the first time in the blistering cold.

I was pretty much head over heels.

She was an elusive target, truth be told, one who liked the attention of men for a while before settling on something else. She told me she had recently broken up with her boyfriend and was looking for the right one. You can imagine I wanted to be that one. She was a red head, about 5’5 tall and played D&D, surprisingly. I was sold.

We had a long period of radio silence after a second date. We met again when me and my brother Maarten were at a pub in Deventer. She was there with her boyfriend, the one she’d broken up with before. She explained that she had moved on.

So to sum it up: I was sold but she kept the receipt to return.

I should stop working in stores…

Anyway, I wrote a song about it called Signal To Noise and moved on. No big deal. Except that I kept seeing her around town. I’ve met her while me and Niels were having a walk through Deventer after a few drinks at our local pub, or when I was doing shopping during the weekend. And it kept nagging me how easily she had moved on. So, I banned her from my head.

Nowadays, she’s irked about something and I’m not sure what it is really. Is it that I still look the same as I did back then and that she looks much, much, much older now? It is an enigma to me, to be honest.

Today, after I left a quite horrible and depressing meeting at the Centre for Work and Income ( CWI for all the Dutchies) I went for a sandwich at a local bakery and quietly munched it as I sat and contemplated my future. I’m good at this, but no government funding has been offered so far.

Eve walked in. She does this in a particular way, because she always spots me, even with my back towards her and my hair covered. You could say she takes 20 on any spotcheck. And then, she glares, then smirks. Obviously I’m missing something here, but I can’t blame myself for being distracted when she was there. I had a sandwich to take care of.

Jeff Dunham during his second theatre show caught on DVD featured a joke about all the dogs in their house, namely their pet Chihuahuas. One of them, the runt of the litter, is called Rusty and is the only Chihuahua that has bonded with Jeff instead of his wife or daughters. And Jeff stated that the little dog would always chose his side when he and his wife had been in an argument. The Chihuahuas stay in bed with the Dunham’s and after a fight between Jeff and his wife, Rusty will pee on her.

I was enjoying my sandwich and not paying attention to Eve, despite the fact that she had a short skirt on and pretty nice long shaved legs. It’s always fun to see a woman go out of her way to look pretty when in fact she’s as hideous as the night on the inside, but there you go. Beside Eve was a customer who had the most adoring little Labrador puppy ever. I had to restrain myself from crying because the little rascal reminded me of my old dog, Arrow. Eventually, I look up and there is Eve, looking directly at me, smiling in a pretty unfriendly way.

Did I mention I love dogs?

As I’m sitting there and just staring her right back into the eyes, I see her smile turn into horror when she realises something is wrong and looks down to see the little pup peeing against her lovely legs.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am reborn. There is a God. And I call him Rusty!

Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Current Music: Simon Collins ft Phil Collins - The Big Bang

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Oct. 11th, 2008 03:56 pm I'm A Market Square Hero...

Well, as of wednesday, I am officially unemployed, though badly looking for a new job. And strangely, I still talk of my colleagues as if I am working there. I guess that'll fade away with time.

And to those wondering why I'm not at the Moots, I'm sick at home trying to find a job. So, there you have it. Not happy about it, as it's the second Vortex event in 6 years I'm due to miss, but considering the current situation I'm stuck in, I can't change it.

Symbols 8 came and went and did so in a bang. We had quite some stuff playing up in the Black Hammers and I pulled the ultimate Killburn move on them. Can't really go into detail here, but let's just say they wanted my head and I dodged the bullet. I got them into gear and that was what we needed. Other than that, Killburn had a chance presented to him, that of Neri. Again, not going to go into detail here. I liked the plot a lot, making me realise I have quite some unfinished business ahead of me.
It was quite the emo plot, due to my Judith playing the part of Neri, allowing me to go loose on it. If it would've been played by another girl, I doubt I would've reacted in the same way. Apart from this, I had quite the fun ending on Symbols, me (again) being courtmartialed by our new priest, Rick. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of that plot *grin*. So, after we cleaned up, we had a good feeling about the event and I'm eagerly looking ahead to Symbols 9, 10 and the special weekend.

In other good news, I'm back in writing mode.

Big time.

Though Onno and I had decided to put Doodspoor on ice until we had fixed a few personal matters for ourselfs ( in my case, getting a new job) I've decided to ignore the ice and defrost the project. And so far, it's good. In true Doodspoor sense, the plot will be brought to you. Give it a bit of time, because as usual the locations are proving difficult, but I'm used to that.

Also, I've finished a new lyric. The song just came out after I was wondering just where to take my life to now. I'll post 'Going Nowhere' after this one. As for music, I've got plenty of instrumentals waiting for lyrics, so that'll prove to fit nicely with the other lyrical bits and pieces I have written lately.

And also, I've started again on the Symbols story I was writing prior to having my writer's block hit me like a log across the forehead. And given the past Symbols, it is more fitting then ever. I'll talk more about it when I've got more than just the one paragraph I have at the moment. I deleted quite some stuff from it as it was cluttering up the real deal, but eventually that will be redone in a better fashion I previously managed.

Though sitting at home sick without a job is quite a depressing thing really, I also feel happy about being able to write again. A truly beautiful bipolar moment. *sigh* Anyway, I'll update again when I have more interesting things to tell, for now let me post 'Going Nowhere'.

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Oceansize - New Pin

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Sep. 23rd, 2008 08:44 pm Marooned or The Choices One Must Or Can Make...

I'm currently embroidered in a little conflict at work, where my chef wants me to continue working till the end of my contract, whereas I have all my vacation hours available for withdrawal. Problem is he won't let me. He's constantly asking me to keep working for him, or 'else you can fill in your resignation, if you really wanna quit.'

Frigging asshole.

Problem is, if I resign myself, I get no wellfare. None at all. And I can use all the spare time off to find a new job to replace my current crap job. I have plenty of options and the people at the CWI are really helpful, but I can't help but think my chef is doing this to irk me. I wouldn't be surprised that, even if I worked full time till the end of the 2nd of october, he would give me a bad reference, just for fun. Should he decide to go that far, he'll be waging war with an agressive dog who'll have a much worser bark than bite. And they don't know that yet.

My sales figures have been printed out and, so far, I've managed to sell products at the Mediamarket for about 581.000 euro, which is the equivalent of 854,267.91 USD, when put through the XE currency converter. There aren't a lot of salesmen in that mediamarket who can actually top that, bar a few salesmen at the TV department, but then again, they sell products of at least 1200 euros each. Camera's aren't that expensive always, but I've managed to sell for at least 3.000 euro's a day lately. They're going to regret me going away. I've got a stunt prepared for when I leave, but I'll write about that once the final day has come at last.

In other news, I've been busy recording. Madly. The recordings are of a quality I haven't dreamed of, and I'm lucky the cables weren't fried or anything like that. I'm still doubting the musicianship of my creations, hence me asking to rate my samples on the myspace page. If you still haven't, please do so, I've only gotten one review!
Marooned is starting to sound more mature, with the drums in place and most of the guitars done. I'm due to redo one slide guitar solo ( I actually managed to figure out how to use that blasted item on my Ibanez) and add a keyboard solo to the middle part where I had forgotten (stupid me) to record one. I've got just the sound and I've found a way to tweak it beyond recognition. Just the way I like it. The drums will be completely redone with proper midi software, once I get a midi cable. That way you won't be able to hear any mistakes, as I can quickly and easily fix that in the software. Me being a software n00b however, has left me asking inane questions at the Frost* forum to fellow musicians who are already making professional recordings and bringing them out into the world. I can only hope I'm going to be as good as they are now. The software I have found in Reaper Audio, which is cheap but very damn effective, and it appears that most musicians on that forum work with it. I just need to get that cable so I can start recording more. It would also mean that my next tracks will all feature midi keys, allowing much more possibilities with sound as I can finally start using Virtual Instruments. Guitars and bass will remain as they should be: electric or acoustic, but not from a keyboard anymore, unless I find no other option. I'm also going to check out Wusikstation, a program that is fairly cheap, but gives brilliant sounds as displayed on the ever so great sounding albums by Ghost Circus.
I'm still due to borrow a mic to record the vocals and I can tell you it's going to be a very special recording, due to the fact I'm going to make a choir of Richards ( at least 50 to 60 voices) for the 3rd part of the song. I'm due to rewrite certain passages of the lyric due to the song being slightly different that the original version I had, but I think it's only going to make it better.

Overall, I'm happy it's better than the first take. That one was a mono recording of something that should've been stereo, but that was all we had after the computer crash that fragged my entire day of recording. I was lucky the engineer who helped me didn't charge me, as he was very pissed and refused even a penny from me ( I was willing to pay at least 1/3 of the day) as he felt I had been cheated of a great recording. To be honest, that song sounded good already that day, but I was 18 years old and I had no experience whatsoever. Now, I feel the song has matured massively. And I believe the other songs will massively benefit from that. After Marooned is done, I've got plenty of choice to choose from, but I think I will finish the previously set tasklist and then continue the album. I should record the songs as they are, add vocals and eventually take it into a studio and record the drums, mix and master and bring it out, if anybody wants to hear it.

I'm slowly setting into Symbols Mode, this time having upgraded my gear ever so slightly. You'll notice at the event, or you might not. Also, on another note: Since the 3rd of october 2008 is not only the start of Symbols 8 this year, but also my 27th birthday, I can't celebrate it at home but will do so very, very shortly at Symbols. I've already had people ask me what gifts I would like this year and I replied that I didn't know. I'm going to make a list of stuff I would love to have, but to be honest, I would prefer money as I've got a stackload of books waiting for me at a local game store in Deventer, who ordered a shiteload for me but is waiting for me to pick it up, once I've saved up a bit again.

- Races of the Dragon: never got it and I am trying to get my 3.5 collection complete before WOTC are completely deleting it. I know it's expensive for one person to give, but perhaps you could team up with multiple friends.
- Orpheus ( Orpheus book 1, White Wolf)
- Shades Of Gray ( Orpheus book 3, White Wolf)
- The Orphan-Grinders ( Orpheus book 5, White Wolf)
- Inn fighting game ( always fun to have)

The stuff I'm saving money up for are things for my guitar. I'm trying to get an E-bow, which is technically an electric device functioning as a magnet, which allows you to play a single note forever on your guitar, whether it's an electric or acoustic. They're certainly not cheap, but it would enhance my playing even more. And it's cheaper than saving up for a Sustainer© by Fernandez, which is to be built into your guitar. Other than that, I need money to save up for more studio gear. It would be great if I could start recording professionally from my own room. Or anybody else's room, were I nuts enough to move all the gear there. We'll see what the future brings.

I'll keep you posted on Marooned and on the job hunting search. The stunt will commence!

Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: Genesis - Dance On A Volcano

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